A Young Person’s Guide to HUG

by HUG

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Curated by Thor Harris and released on Joyful Noise Recordings’ White Label Series, "A Young Person’s Guide to HUG" is a remixed and/or remastered "best of" collection of HUG's charmingly sophomoric yet anthemic songs. The collection is HUG's only vinyl record.

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1.	Texas 04:00	lyrics	buy track
She’s in all my weird dreams Something about barbed wire and moonbeams She’s usually wearing a t-shirt and bluejeans She says how’s your bike running, I say hop on let’s go. I want a big orgasm I want a big hangover I want a big breakfast I want feel like I’m in Texas, Texas, Texas She’s more real than LSD Her pussy is a laser beam Soaking through her bluejeans She says how’s your bike running, I say hop on let’s go. I want a big orgasm I want a big hangover I want a big breakfast I want feel like I’m in Texas, Texas, Texas Sometimes she’s quiet Sometimes she’s insane Sometimes she covers me, she covers me with juice Then she says to me, she looks down at me and she says: I want a big orgasm I want a big hangover I want a big breakfast I want feel like I’m in Texas, Texas, Texas
2.	Hot Bucket of Fuck 03:43	lyrics	buy track
Hey I’m looking at you I’m looking at your mouth I’m looking at your tongue I’m looking at your lips I’m getting all excited Now I’m thinking about a Hot Bucket of Fuck I wanna a Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck, baby Hot Bucket of Fuck, yeah I wanna Hot Bucket of I wanna Hot Bucket Well I tell by the way you dance I can see that you know how I can see that you know how to party And your friend looks like she got drugs I just wanna have fun I wanna, I wanna I wanna Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck, yeah I wanna Hot Bucket of I wanna Hot Bucket Well some of the shit she wants me to do It’s a little too weird for me I’m so ashamed I have to say “no” But maybe if I do more drugs She would look so hot so hot, so Hot Bucket of Fuck I wanna a Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck Hot Bucket of Fuck, yeah I wanna Hot Bucket of I wanna Hot Bucket oohhhh eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it eat it, lick it, suck it, fuck it I wanna Hot Bucket of Fuck
3.	Pants Off 02:18	lyrics	buy track
Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Por favor, mi amor Quítate sus pantalones sus pantalones Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Quítate sus pantalones Es la ley Quítate sus pantalones Por favor, mi amor Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Take your pants off Take, take your pants off Pantalones, pantalones, pantalones, pan, pantalones Take your pants off Take, take your pantalones off
4.	Wow 02:48	lyrics	buy track
Yeah. I’m sick, I’m sick, I’m sick in your bed I’m sick your toilet, I’m sick in your head Wow, look at me I’m really high Yeah I feel like superman I can do another line Wow, look at me I’m really high So are all of my friends, ‘cause I’m a hell of a guy Wow, look at me I’m really high Yeah. I stink, I stink, I stink like hell Stink like a highway overpass where the groovy people dwell Wow, look at me I’m really high Yeah I feel like superman I can do another line Wow, look at me I’m really high Throw your leg over your bike Ride, mama, ride Wow, look at me I’m really high Yeah I feel like superman I can do another line Wow, look at me I’m really high So are all of my friends, ‘cause I’m a hell of a guy 05. WHITE BOYS EAT PUSSY Yeah. I can see you looking at me from over there You look like fun, your shirt is so tight All the boys stare But there’s something you should know Before you come up and say “hello” Something about me you should know White Boys Eat Pussy White Boys Eat Pussy Oh yes we do And some of the girls do too Some people they got class They’re so smooth Baby, I guess that makes me too crude But I going to die some day So I’m going to eat tonight Yeah, go ahead and tell the world: White Boys Eat Pussy White Boys Eat Pussy Oh yes we do And some of the girls do too White Boys Eat Pussy White Boys Eat Pussy Oh yes we do
5.	White Boys Eat Pussy 02:08	lyrics	buy track
Yeah. I can see you looking at me from over there You look like fun, your shirt is so tight All the boys stare But there’s something you should know Before you come up and say “hello” Something about me you should know White Boys Eat Pussy White Boys Eat Pussy Oh yes we do And some of the girls do too Some people they got class They’re so smooth Baby, I guess that makes me too crude But I going to die some day So I’m going to eat tonight Yeah, go ahead and tell the world: White Boys Eat Pussy White Boys Eat Pussy Oh yes we do And some of the girls do too White Boys Eat Pussy White Boys Eat Pussy Oh yes we do
6.	Junky Lover 03:35	lyrics	buy track
I don’t need an angel ’cause I got her up there Like some fucked up Rapunzel with syringes for hair Drop one of those things from heaven Pump the junk into my eye Junky lover in the sky Junky lover in the sky Baby I’m on my way I’ll run out of luck someday Your track marks make me horny I look at them closely Your weeping sores are weeping And I kiss the tears away Junky lover in the sky Junky lover in the sky She comes to me in my dreams She knows where to find me She picks me up with giant tweezers Whenever she’s hungry She is always so lovely Always so lovely Junky lover in the sky Junky lover in the sky
7.	BFNFL 04:51	lyrics	buy track
My boyfriend wears athletic socks I run my fingers through his curly locks Both of us are hard as rocks We suck each other's cocks My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell Excuse me, I'm gay Some people they call us gay But I enjoy being gay And you better believe my boyfriend's gay My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell He is bigger than me Makes a living off brutality The fans and coaches They don't know about me I wait for him after the game on my knees My boyfriend's in the NFL My boyfriend's in the NFL Just like Howard Cosell My boyfriend's in the NFL . . . Tonight, the Bears, the Packers and the Oilers In a Monday night, gridiron ménage à trois [b-nah-nah-nah-nah . . .] My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell My boyfriend's in the NFL All you other bitches can go to hell He wants a Super Bowl ring I want a Wedding ring Both of us have our cock rings And other exciting things My boyfriend's in the NFL
8.	Made of Wine 02:08	lyrics	buy track
My shoes, they are Italian They are made of wine They are hard to find Just like Cognac They are made of wine May I, buy you a Cognac? You know it's, it's made of, it's made of wine Take a sip and you will find Into my Jaguar sports car you will climb And you will be mine because Cognac is made of wine Cognac is made of wine My shirt, it is made of silk It is made of milk Ah, you tremble
9.	Car Chase 03:14	lyrics	buy track
Don’t ask me, I don’t know why You got to win or else you’re gunna die. Die. Car chase Here comes the chopper from Channel 2 You’re on TV, what are you gunna do? Pull over? Never! Car chase, car chase, car chase, car chase, baby oh yeah, yeah She’s looking for a winner tonight I’m going to win her on the blacktop tonight I wanna get her in my back seat tonight But that ain’t gunna happen if the law catches me tonight Car chase, car chase, car chase, car chase, baby oh yeah, yeah Hot rod Nova do 110 I’m a three-strike superhero I ain’t going back again Yeah that’s me leaning out the window They didn’t know they were chasing a pistolero Car chase, car chase, car chase, car chase, baby oh yeah, yeah Car chase, baby oh yeah
10.	Picnic 02:36	lyrics	buy track
Hey man, tell ya what I’ll tell you what I’m ready I’m ready for a picnic I’m ready for a picnic You and me And all the little kitties and doggies A kitty/doggy picnic kittens, puppies I’m ready for a picnic I’ll tell ya what Check it out: You bring the champagne I’ll bring the cocaine We’re gunna have a, yeah You bring the blunt I’ll bring the girls We’re gunna have a picnic, a picnic You bring the fun And I’ll bring the guns I’ll tell ya what You bring your friends I’ll come with mine We’re gunna have a picnic Puppies, kitties Puppy/Kitty picnic
11.	She Don't 04:05	lyrics	buy track
She looks into my eyes She says she loves me And then she says goodnight She says she loves me And then she says goodnight Then she rolls over and goes to sleep I know, I know that she loves me I know she does But she don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t even Fuck me Well is there something wrong with my cock? Does it stink like a rotten old sandwich? Or does it smell like I didn’t wipe my ass good enough? I’m really sorry it doesn’t squirt whiskey or LSD And I know, I know that it’s ugly But I swear you used to put it in your mouth But she don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t even Fuck me Well is your mind on bigger things? Do you wish that I was bigger? Do you wish that I was longer, or wider? Do you wish I was a cucumber? Do you wish that I was a girl? I can do anything they can I’d rather have sex with you than my hand But I’ve got to fuck something But she don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t fuck me anymore She don’t even Fuck me Anymore Anymore Anymore Anymore Anymore
12.	Lickable Hole (Live) 02:59	lyrics	buy track
Lick, lick, lick, lick You’ve got a, you’ve got a, you’ve got a You’ve got a lickable hole You’ve got a lickable hole Lickable hole Bleed down my mouth baby ‘Cause I love it when you gross me out baby Lose control with your lickable hole Lick it on down from your lickable, lickable, lickable hole You’ve got a lickable hole You’ve got a lickable hole Ladies, you can lick it too You know it tastes so good You’ve got to lick it You’ve got to lick it Like a shorthaired girl should Lick it on down Lickable hole You’ve got a lickable hole Lickable hole Lick, lick, lick, lickable hole Lickable
13.	Shit Sex (Live) 02:01	lyrics	buy track
Might not be for everyone Might not be for you Shit sex Shit sex baby, yeah Shit sex Shit sex baby, yeah, yeah, yeah I got a special bathtub out in the garage What do you say, what did you come here for anyway? Shit sex Shit sex baby, yeah Shit sex Shit sex baby, yeah, yeah, yeah You gotta have shit You gotta have sex So you gotta have shit sex Shit sex Shit sex baby, yeah Shit sex Shit sex Give it Give it to me right now Shit sex baby Shit sex baby Shit sex Shit sex Right now In front of me right now

credits

released September 6, 2019

Blair Bovbjerg - vocals
Scott Van Horn - Casio and Yamaha toy keyboards
John “Jack” Anderson - guitar

All songs recorded and produced by HUG except Pants Off which was engineered and produced by Cris Burns.
Lickable Hole, and Shit Sex were recorded live at The Off Center by Stuart Laurence on October 31, 1998.
Wow, BFNFL, Lickable Hole and Shit Sex were remixed by John “Jack” Anderson. All songs mastered or remastered by Cris Burns with original mastering by Jerry Tubb on Texas and She Don’t.

Tracks 1 and 11 are from the EP Auto/Erotic/Life
Tracks 2, 4, 5 and 9 are from the album Lickable
Track 3 is from the album Cravings, Lust and Chaos
Track 6 is from the album Drug Gasm
Tracks 7 and 8 are from the rock opera My Life on the Line
Track 10 is from the album God Gasm
Tracks 12 and 13 are from the live album Halloween Live

Photography by Caroline Homer, John “Jack” Anderson, and Scott Van Horn
All Songs By HUG
Aardvark Plumbing Musick (BMI)

Dedicated to Bruce Dye

--------------------------------

In the early years of the idiotic 21st century I was innocently handed a few CDs by Jack Anderson . He was taking pictures of me for a story for The Austin Chronicle. When I played them, I could hardly believe my ears. With drum machine and Casio keyboard sounds, the music was a little like the music for PeeWee's Playhouse or any other children's show of that era. But the lyrical content was VERY clearly adult. Like some perverted circus that I had unwittingly wandered into, I was in a world of filth, LSD, booze, pornography and wonder. Finally! Children's Music in the Major keys on toy keyboards that celebrates sodomy, drunkenness, drugs, lust and all the best things in life.

Sadly for me the band broke up before I saw them live. I kept meaning to see them. They were a fixture at a local bar called Lovejoys. It was the kind of place where highly intelligent weirdos go to blast their brains out with booze on the reg.

Legends of an obese naked dancer, a suit made of pornography, and a huge lesbian fanbase haunted me as I writhed in my regret for not seeing them live. All I had were these CDs and everyone in town talking about their live show.

When the kind folks at Joyful Noise asked me what music I would like to resurrect, it was a close tie between HUG and a French band called Anus. We could not find any of the members of Anus. I soon heard that HUG were doing some reunion shows, so the choice was clear.

Now for the first time in history HUG is available to the unworthy (you) on fucking vinyl!

Yours, Thor Harris
Curator
June 25, 2019

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about

HUG Austin, Texas

HUG is a happily deranged band that creates fun, sexually oriented music full of modern political views and openly taboo aspects of modern, repressed sexuality. Their charmingly sophomoric yet anthemic songs get stuck in your head and can have you dancing in fits. They are an institution and chapter in Austin weirdness. ... more

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