My Life on the Line

by HUG

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about

WHAT HAPPENS... when a closeted NFL star proposes to his out-and-proud boyfriend, and is forced to choose between a Superbowl ring and a wedding ring??? Lust vs. love, truth vs. lies, Jaguars vs. Camaros, in a flaming death-spiral of man-on-man(-on-man?) action, from the pulsing disco dance floor to the lonely, blood-spattered highway median... it's HUG's gay-NFL-disco-opera, "My Life on the Line!"

credits

released December 24, 2012

Blair Bovbjerg - vocals and theremin
Jack Anderson - guitar
Scott Van Horn - DJX 1 and 2

Recorded by HUG. Mastered by Cris Burns.

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HUG Austin, Texas

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Track Name: My Life on the Line
Hut, hut, hike!
American Football, it's a macho game
Are you curious?
You'll never be the same
Blocking, tackling, penetration and someone scores
Half of us run around erect
Half of us are on all fours

I know it, it looks confusing
Let me explain
I knock other men down
To lube up the running lane
Someone else grabs the ball
And plunges through the hole
I know what my job is
I understand my role

I make the hole and you get the glory
I make the holes and you get the glory
I open up the holes and you get the glory
It's my life on the line
It's my life on the line

It's my life on the line
my life on the line
my life on the line
my life on the offensive line

The game is over
Of course we won
Time for a shower
and some manly fun
Whoop, that didn't sound right
I apologize
It's not like I'm gay or anything
mmmmm, look at his thighs
I am a very straight man
In a very straight man's world
Why, look at this photograph
That's me with a girl
No, she's not my wife
so maybe . . . she's my girlfriend
I mean - Don't make me kick your ass!

I make the holes and you get the glory
I make the holes and you get the glory
I open up the holes and you get the glory
It's my life on the line
It's my life on the line

It's my life on the line
my life on the line
my life on the offensive line
my life on the offensive line

I make the holes and you get the glory
I open up the holes and you get the glory
I lube up the holes and you get the glory
It's my life on the line
It's my life on the line

It's my life on the
It's my life on the
It is my life on the
It's my life on the
It's my life on the line
It's my life on the
Life on the line
Track Name: BFNFL
Wooo . . . Yeah . . .
My boyfriend wears athletic socks
I run my fingers through his curly locks
Both of us are hard as rocks
We suck each other's cocks

My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell
My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell

My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell
My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell

Excuse me, I'm gay
Some people they call us gay
But I enjoy being gay
And you better believe my boyfriend's gay

My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell
My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell

My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell
My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell

He is bigger than me
Makes a living off brutality
The fans and coaches
they don't know about me
I wait for him after the game on my knees

My boyfriend's in the NFL
My boyfriend's in the NFL
Just like Howard Cosell

My boyfriend's in the NFL . . .


Tonight, the Bears, the Packers and the Oilers
In a Monday night, gridiron menage a trois
[b-nah-nah-nah-nah . . .]


My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell
My boyfriend's in the NFL
All you other bitches can go to hell

He wants a Super Bowl ring
I want a Wedding ring
Both of us have our cock rings
And other exciting things

My boyfriend's in the NFL
Track Name: Rose in the Montrose
One red rose in my teeth
My heart's in my hand
You can see my dreams in my eyes
I have it all planned
The question is there, in the air
You know what I mean?
I'm on bended knee
in the middle of a scene

I brought a rose
to the Montrose
I brought a rose
to the Montrose

Rose, in the Montrose
You are my rose
in the Montrose

You can't believe it's happening
You can't believe your eyes
A see a tear
You try to say yes
but you're paralyzed
Every rose has a thorny side
that is true
I will use it to tan your hide
right after I marry you

I brought a rose
to the Montrose
A single rose
in the Montrose
You will be my rose
in the Montrose
You are my rose
of the Montrose
Track Name: Marry Me
Here I am
on bended knee
I look into your eyes
Marry me!

The only thing I want
The only thing I need
Is for you to
Marry me!

I'll build you a castle in the sky
I'll carry you away
If you would only
Marry me!

Everything will be
as it should be
If you would
Marry me!

Everything could be
as it should be
Best idea I ever had!
Marry me!

I will banish evil
Make the clouds go away
summon the Sun if you
Marry me!

Happy endings
and wonderful things
as far as the eye can see
Everything comes together
for you and for me
just as soon as you
Marry Me!

I wanna take you to the dance
called eternity
I want to take you with,
take you with me
Marry me
Track Name: Where is He?
Whoah, I should not have done that last shot
I'm feeling kinda sick
and I'm feeling kinda dizzy
and I wonder where is he
and why should I care?


Whoa, how could he say "no"?
no one's ever said no to me
no one's ever said no
to meeee
not to me


Nobody cares if I'm gay
as long as I show up and play
on Sunday


ooh, but everybody cares if I'm gay
everybody cares what the newspapers say
on Monday

How could he say no to me?
He has to understand the situation that I'm in
[I'll explain that somehow very cleverly literarlly]

How could he run away and
Where is he?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Where is he?
Track Name: Man 2 Man
Man 2 Man
I'm in the zone
I'm own my own, yeah
Playing the field
watching 'em run
ooh, I'm gunna tackle me one

No means no
and yes means yes
That's how it is, I guess
But maybe no means maybe
I've got my eyes on that ass

Man 2 Man
I'm in the zone
I'm own my own, yeah
Playing the field
watching 'em run
yeah, I'm gunna tackle me one

Double teams
and penalties
yeah, that's part of the game
But I'll play dirty,
if you play dirty
I'm gunna come inside of you, anyway

Man 2 Man
I'm in the zone
I'm own my own, yeah
Playing the field
watching 'em run
yeah, I'm gunna tackle me one

Man 2 Man
I'm in the zone
Man 2 Man
I'm in the zone
Man 2 Man
I'm in the zone
Track Name: Made of Wine
My shoes, they are Italian
They are made of wine
They are hard to find
Just like Cognac
They are made of wine

May I, buy you a Cognac?
You know it's, it's made of,
it's made of wine

Take a sip and you will find
Into my Jaguar sports car
you will climb
And you will be mine
because Cognac
is made of wine
Cognac is made of wine
My shirt, it is made of silk
It is made of milk
Ah, you tremble
Track Name: The Chase
(The chase is on)
(The chase is on)
(The chase is on)
(The chase is on)
(The chase is on)
(The chase is on)

(The chase is on)
(The chase is on)
One million years ago
(The chase is on)
Two men went toe to toe
(The chase is on)
Both of them want to know
(The chase is on)
Friend or foe?
(The chase is on)

Down through the ages
(The chase is on)
The sex war wages
(The chase is on)
They call us contagious
(The chase is on)
Keep us in cages

The chase is on
The chase is on
The chase is on
The chase is on

Look at the games we play
(The chase is on)
Pumped up for Sunday
(The chase is on)
Who's winning anyway?
(The chase is on)
Kind of hard to say

Sweaty men, hot breath
All tied up, sudden death
Victory to me I score
Can you take anymore?
Can you, can you take,
any, take anymore?

The chase is on
The chase is on, yeah
The chase is on
The chase is on

The chase is on
The chase is on
The chase is on
The chase is on, yeah!

The chase is on
The chase is on
The chase is on
The chase is on
Track Name: Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas
Competition, competition
for the ass

Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas
I'm gunna win your ass
I'm gunna fuck ass
I'm gunna fuck your,
ass

Spin out and crash, don't
Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas
Step on the Gas

Fucking Jaguar's right on your ass
the Fucking Jaguar's right on your ass
You're gunna win his ass
You're gunna win his ass
win his,
. . . CRASH
Track Name: Headlights
Your body in the headlights
Your body in the ambulance light
I remember your body by candle light
and shining in the hot disco spotlight


Your body in the headlights, yeah
Your wide eyes staring into the flashlights
Your body by candle light
Your body in the headlights

How do I apologize to you?
I think I should join you
I should lie by your side
in the headlights
two in the headlights
in the headlights
in the headlights
two . . . .
Track Name: Great Big Disco
Look up there, in the sky
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
Is it? nah.
It's some hot guy
Yeah, what's happening to me?
I feel like I'm on a shining escalator
ascending to the heavens, to the heavens, to the heavens
oh, there he is
Skipper, welcoming me
Wait a second,

If you had the guts to dance while you were alive
This is where you go after you die
If you had the guts to dance while you were alive
This is where you go after you die

Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky

Everybody's got their own go-go cage
Everybody's at their prime sexual age
Look over there it's God and the Devil in DJ booth
[Ahh, I gotta figure out something that rhymes with DJ booth]

Big Disco in the Sky
Welcome to the Great Big Disco in the Sky
Come on, Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky

Sagitarus, Capicorn, is that all you got?

Great Big Disco in the Sky
Welcome to the Great Big Disco in the Sky
Show off in the Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky
uhh, chest hair
Great Big Disco in the Sky
Great Big Disco in the Sky